You can know what you need and ask for help. You can have your own preferences and tastes. Looking at you makes me happy. You can choose your own value. You can choose your friends, and you don't have to like everyone. You sometimes feel confused, uncertain, and don't know all the answers, but that's okay. You make me proud. Self-Fathering and the Time Machine Rescue Mission Many abandoned children grow up feeling that the world is dangerous because they lack the ability to protect themselves. "
Self-mothering" focuses whatsapp database on healing the wounds caused by neglect, while "self-parenting" is about healing the wounds caused by the inability to protect oneself from abuse. Self-parenting is an attempt to build the ability to speak for oneself, and the ability to protect oneself. This includes learning to effectively fight external or internal abuse, as well as standing up for the rights of adult children, as described in Toolbox 2 in Chapter 16. Many survivors benefit from courses and books that train in confident expression. One of my favorite self-parenting exercises is the Time Machine Rescue Mission, which I use to help myself and my clients. When helping clients, I use it to create a process that allows clients to fight off the great sense of helplessness that often accompanies emotional reappearance.
Below is a version I use to help myself and my clients. I told my inner child that if time travel was possible, I would travel to the past and stop my parents' abuse. In it, I'd say something like, "I'll call 110, I'll call the Social Bureau; if they're going to hit you, I'll grab their arm and fold their arm behind my back; I'll cover their mouths so they can't yell at you or pick on you; I'll put their heads up so they can't show displeasure or stare at you; I'll make them go to sleep without dessert. Whatever you want No matter how I protect you, I will do it." Such imaginings often allow me to escape from fear and shame, and sometimes even make the inner child laugh happily.